Back From Off the Face of the Earth
I’m not quite sure how to begin this post. It has been over a month since my last one and an apology is most definitely in order. My list of reasons for not blogging lately is long, some really ill health being the main one. I begin my next round of the Protocol tomorrow after a 6-week break in which I have not been entirely successful with my phase 3. I’ve put on about 12 lbs since I stopped the diet last time and am at 240 lbs as I begin my loading. Not good. Then again, I have not adhered to the protocol. I feel terrible for having failed the Challenge this time around. I was so absolutely confident that it would be a snap for me. The willpower it takes to do the diet is not at all a problem for me. The willpower it takes to do phase 3, however, has proven to be a real obstacle for me. I handle stress with food, period. I’ve been extraordinarily busy, on top of being really ill and that has made for a perfect storm of emotional triggers. Hence, the gain of 12 lbs. Well, bygones. Forward is the only way ahead, and so forward I go.
I’m trying to load ‘smart’. No sugary, bacon or other additive-loaded foods. Lots of good fats: avocados, olive oil, my favorite cheeses, organic cream. I actually feel so full of self-loathing right now that I don’t even WANT to load, just want to get on with it and start starving! I am doing a 40-injection round and will finish on August 22nd. The truncated round I did last time just felt wrong. I am in the middle of a run of a show and it’s one that requires a lot of physical energy. I am terrified that I will feel so much fatigue (or, worst case scenario, that I will pass out on stage!) that it will prevent me from completing this round. I am going to have to be extremely careful of when I eat and make sure I have enough fuel for the late nights of performing. I may, in fact, increase my calorie intake to 800 for the four days a week that I have a performance: add an extra portion of 100g protein and a slew more vegetables to help me. Adding the occasional extra protein serving did not at all hamper me last time, so I feel confident that this mild alteration of the original Protocol is going to be ok. I think I’ll put fruit back in my diet too, I nearly eliminated it last time, only having a few strawberries once a day. I’ll also add some red meat back in, I did miss it last time!
Another funny thing is. I am actually hoping to lose less quickly than I did last round. I think I averaged something like 1.2 lbs a day last time, and I definitely felt my voice suffering for it. I hope I can stay near 1lb a day or slightly under, at least until my run of performances is over on August 3rd. So if that means 800 cals becomes my norm, so be it. I’ll play it by ear and tweak as I go along.
All right, off to a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s first blessed injection. It’s been so hard for me to mentally prepare for this round; I really hope I’ll be able to see this through. I’m sorry once again for being MIA for so long. Life really does seem to happen all at once. Sigh.
I’m trying to load ‘smart’. No sugary, bacon or other additive-loaded foods. Lots of good fats: avocados, olive oil, my favorite cheeses, organic cream. I actually feel so full of self-loathing right now that I don’t even WANT to load, just want to get on with it and start starving! I am doing a 40-injection round and will finish on August 22nd. The truncated round I did last time just felt wrong. I am in the middle of a run of a show and it’s one that requires a lot of physical energy. I am terrified that I will feel so much fatigue (or, worst case scenario, that I will pass out on stage!) that it will prevent me from completing this round. I am going to have to be extremely careful of when I eat and make sure I have enough fuel for the late nights of performing. I may, in fact, increase my calorie intake to 800 for the four days a week that I have a performance: add an extra portion of 100g protein and a slew more vegetables to help me. Adding the occasional extra protein serving did not at all hamper me last time, so I feel confident that this mild alteration of the original Protocol is going to be ok. I think I’ll put fruit back in my diet too, I nearly eliminated it last time, only having a few strawberries once a day. I’ll also add some red meat back in, I did miss it last time!
Another funny thing is. I am actually hoping to lose less quickly than I did last round. I think I averaged something like 1.2 lbs a day last time, and I definitely felt my voice suffering for it. I hope I can stay near 1lb a day or slightly under, at least until my run of performances is over on August 3rd. So if that means 800 cals becomes my norm, so be it. I’ll play it by ear and tweak as I go along.
All right, off to a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s first blessed injection. It’s been so hard for me to mentally prepare for this round; I really hope I’ll be able to see this through. I’m sorry once again for being MIA for so long. Life really does seem to happen all at once. Sigh.
posted by Helen at
8:52 PM
2 Comments:
Hey i read your post and i have been reading most of the blogs here and you are not alone, there are a few others that are not posting and i assume have quit the challenge but this diet is definatly not for everyone. It sounds like you may even have better success on another diet since you dont want to do the loading and just want to get fast results by not eating.
Hcg is a good way to lose weight, but there are better and more healthy ways. Just eat healthy and excersize and you wont need the hcg at all cause it seems you have the will power to do that. Sometimes i think the hcg is a excuse for people that cant lose weight the traditional way, including myself.
I hope it all works out for you.
Don't beat yourself up, you slipped up but instead of letting it get wildly out of control you're doing something about it. That's the smart part!
Good luck! :)
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